update/vent on my son - Road Star Warrior Forum : Yamaha Star Warrior Forums

gchalifo · 11-25-2012, 07:48 PM

So everyone, 1st, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my posts regarding my family, and specifically my son. I covet your prayers, and value your suggestions and advice.

Seems this is about the only place I can share these things without worrying about them coming back to haunt me somehow. Facebook and other social media is out of the question.

So here goes....
1st, the bad news. My son quit his job recently. This is just another irresponsible act on his part. Rather than approach his manager and try to work through the issues, he chose to quit. His overall attitude at home has been challenging. He's been more like a tenant, rather than a son. Somewhat angry all the time, difficult to talk to and not much help from him around here.

Now the good news.....
My wife and I have been planning and praying on doing an intervention of sorts. Time to lay down the law. This has been some time coming. Been hoping it would work itself out, but it has not. So we presented a list of NON-NEGOTIABLE requirements to live at our home while job hunting and preparing to move out.

Our past meetings like this didn't go well. This time, I simply said it's because we love you and want the best for you and our family and it's high time to get healthy hear. I laid out the law, and he agreed to all of it.

it includes seeing his primary care physician, counselor, recovery/relapse work, dentist, I mean the whole normal typical things we all do, that my son has been neglecting.

So here we are.....he agreed, in order to live here he will do it.....all of it....NON-NEGOTIABLE done deal.....and I handed him the phone number to the local homeless shelter if he should decide he can't live by my rules any longer....

Now, with God's blessings we can begin to get healthier here, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

thanks again everyone for your prayers, thoughts, advice and fellowship!.....

love this forum!!!!!

g

LeaderDuece · 11-25-2012, 08:13 PM

How awesome is that!!!

1256day · 11-25-2012, 08:19 PM

1st, and again our prayers are with you and your family.

Its non of my business, but do you think your son has some resentments towards you helping other folks in recovery? I don't know,,,

G

Mike7202 · 11-25-2012, 08:21 PM

G I know this has been a long road for you (rarely is it a short road) stay strong, you are doing the right thing!

twicechosen · 11-25-2012, 08:27 PM

Will continue to pray for him and you and him. Have gone through something similar with a dear friend over the last year. Stay strong. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing but it still remains the right thing!

BlackStar · 11-25-2012, 08:34 PM

Good Wishes sent from Indiana. God knows I've been through enough problems with my sons.

gchalifo · 11-25-2012, 08:34 PM

Hey G!, thanks brother.....

Pretty sure he doesn't resent me in that sense. Least he has never indicated such. He's been his own worse enemy. Drugs and alcohol, self medication, and then compound that with depression and no self worth......been a looonnngggggg time(15 years) he's been struggling with this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1256day

1st, and again our prayers are with you and your family.

Its non of my business, but do you think your son has some resentments towards you helping other folks in recovery? I don't know,,,

G

iowawarrior · 11-25-2012, 09:53 PM

i hope it turns out well BUT there comes a time when you and your wife, other siblings, family etc. can no longer be burdened by someone else's consciously made bad decisions. again man, really, i hope he gets it this time, but i really hope you stick to the whole "non-negotiable" part. food,shelter and an education until they're of age. that's what you owe them. everything after that is gratis on your part. sounds harsh but that's my take. seriously, good luck and stay strong. but then, if you do that, you won't need luck.

capttwb · 11-26-2012, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twicechosen

Will continue to pray for him and you and him. Have gone through something similar with a dear friend over the last year. Stay strong. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing but it still remains the right thing!

+1 It will take time, but with your love and good example it will work out.

heff · 11-27-2012, 02:17 AM

A very moving story G. My family and I wish you all the best and a return to a settled life.
Heff

11-25-2012, 07:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
gchalifo Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: oxford, mass Posts: 4,638	update/vent on my son So everyone, 1st, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my posts regarding my family, and specifically my son. I covet your prayers, and value your suggestions and advice. Seems this is about the only place I can share these things without worrying about them coming back to haunt me somehow. Facebook and other social media is out of the question. So here goes.... 1st, the bad news. My son quit his job recently. This is just another irresponsible act on his part. Rather than approach his manager and try to work through the issues, he chose to quit. His overall attitude at home has been challenging. He's been more like a tenant, rather than a son. Somewhat angry all the time, difficult to talk to and not much help from him around here. Now the good news..... My wife and I have been planning and praying on doing an intervention of sorts. Time to lay down the law. This has been some time coming. Been hoping it would work itself out, but it has not. So we presented a list of NON-NEGOTIABLE requirements to live at our home while job hunting and preparing to move out. Our past meetings like this didn't go well. This time, I simply said it's because we love you and want the best for you and our family and it's high time to get healthy hear. I laid out the law, and he agreed to all of it. it includes seeing his primary care physician, counselor, recovery/relapse work, dentist, I mean the whole normal typical things we all do, that my son has been neglecting. So here we are.....he agreed, in order to live here he will do it.....all of it....NON-NEGOTIABLE done deal.....and I handed him the phone number to the local homeless shelter if he should decide he can't live by my rules any longer.... Now, with God's blessings we can begin to get healthier here, emotionally, physically and spiritually. thanks again everyone for your prayers, thoughts, advice and fellowship!..... love this forum!!!!! g Last edited by gchalifo; 11-25-2012 at 07:51 PM.

11-25-2012, 08:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
LeaderDuece Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Clarksville, Tennessee Posts: 8,241 Blog Entries: 11	How awesome is that!!! __________________ Redhorse Mods Popular Mods DIY Mods Internal Wiring Manuals&Maps Warrior Brothers World Wide Map

11-25-2012, 08:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
1256day Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Chino Hills & Barstow CA Posts: 3,505	1st, and again our prayers are with you and your family. Its non of my business, but do you think your son has some resentments towards you helping other folks in recovery? I don't know,,, G __________________ Group Rides

11-25-2012, 08:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mike7202 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: washington dc Posts: 2,841	G I know this has been a long road for you (rarely is it a short road) stay strong, you are doing the right thing! __________________ You got me all heart warmed and sucker punched me in a lovely way - Sherriism

11-25-2012, 08:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
twicechosen Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Berea, KY Posts: 388	Will continue to pray for him and you and him. Have gone through something similar with a dear friend over the last year. Stay strong. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing but it still remains the right thing! __________________ Yep that's just the way it is! Stay in the word! Member 24379

11-25-2012, 08:34 PM	#6 (permalink)
BlackStar Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Roanoke, Indiana Posts: 737	Good Wishes sent from Indiana. God knows I've been through enough problems with my sons. __________________ R.I.P. Justin Randol 1989-2008 Ride Like the Wind Son! 2011 WR450 2010 FJR1300 2007 FZ1 2005 Warrior 1978 Suzuki GS1000

11-25-2012, 09:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
iowawarrior Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: sioux city,ia Posts: 1,795	i hope it turns out well BUT there comes a time when you and your wife, other siblings, family etc. can no longer be burdened by someone else's consciously made bad decisions. again man, really, i hope he gets it this time, but i really hope you stick to the whole "non-negotiable" part. food,shelter and an education until they're of age. that's what you owe them. everything after that is gratis on your part. sounds harsh but that's my take. seriously, good luck and stay strong. but then, if you do that, you won't need luck.

11-27-2012, 02:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
heff Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Brisbane Australia Posts: 1,499	A very moving story G. My family and I wish you all the best and a return to a settled life. Heff __________________ Manual Choke Essence of Brotherhood

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