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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
(Winners posted!)

This thread is now open!

Prize #1 is one Cyclops 7000 H4 and is open to all EOBA winners. No other badges needed. Post just once and tell us a good joke to enter! All get an equal opportunity to win.

Prize #2 is also one Cyclops 7000 H4 and is open to all other (non-EOBA) members. Each member who wants-in needs only to post their favorite joke in this thread and say they want in.
Only post once: Free members will get one entry but Premium members will get two entries. Lifetime members will get three entries. Your premium/lifetime badge must be visible in your posts and profile by the time winners are chosen in order to get the extra chances to win.
See:
http://www.rswarrior.com/forums/payments.php

Winners will be drawn at random. I will probably old-skool-it and write all names on paper and mix them in a literal hat and draw one for each.

Winners will be drawn sometime between July 1st and 4th. Probably. Might be sooner if I need to go riding for a few weeks of sanity!

Just to disclose, I am buying these at a discount from a member here who happens to be a Cyclops dealer. When the time comes I will share his name but first need to figure out how to avoid bumping into the Vendor rules.

That's all there is too it!
 

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Discussion Starter #3 (Edited)
The 'In' Crowd!
Lifetime: (×3) outlawarrior, shamelessmt, rij1, Wizzy.
Premium: (×2)
Free: (×1) heftysmurf, lilcc, joshuaerdman, robbskllz, brizzman, harri20, stretch, mcnorris, afoley90, sandytows, redneck_racecar, yamaweezle, tapeworm, mead_money, petersik, diesel_warrior, slickrick07.

EOBA:
Tomba, stellman, leaderduece, christok, rcoligan.

They have arrived!
 

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To enter you need to post a good joke Doc!
No worries on over the pond I have it just jump-in with your best funny!

i'd like to be considered please ... to keep the field even ...i'd pay over the pond costs

:)
 

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I want in.......
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
 

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I don't want to be entered into the drawings, but I have some bad jokes... :eek:

What did Helen Keller say about a cheese grater? ...It was the most violent book she had ever read!

What did Helen Keller say about a basketball? ... It was the longest book she had ever read. :eek:
 

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What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.

And you prompted me to finally get a lifetime membership. I've already been here almost 15 years, I suppose I can chip in $40 to help keep the lights on.
 

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A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo !

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

The officer says, ?That?s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an ******* !"

Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?"

Officer responds, ?Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make ?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer ?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile ?"

"Yes, Sir.

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for ******* ?"

Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.
 

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Three men were sentenced to be executed by guillotine; a priest, a Muslim, and a RSWarrior Forum Member.

First was the priest and he asked that he face upwards so he could look at Heaven and his Creator. His wish was granted and the blade fell, but stopped 1/2 inch from his neck. The executioner said since the guillotine spared him, so was his life and he was allowed to leave.

Next was the Muslim and he asked that he also be allowed to face upwards to look to Allah before his death. Again the guillotine stopped just short and his life was spared as well.

The RSWarrior Forum Member was last and he too asked to face upwards given what happened with the first two. As he lay there, he looked up at the mechanism and said, "Aha, i see the problem!".
 

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I WANT IN.....

A young man has always dreamed on owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust. He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the
woman in front of her family.

And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes.
 
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