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For those would be Hardley riders amongst you, you are allowed to have someone read the questions for you......
1. The primary purpose of HOG is to promote: A) Fellowship among Harley-Davidson owners B) Chrome-plating C) Motorcycle Gangs D) Inbreeding

2. You see another HOG member riding the opposite direction on the highway you are on. You either: A). Hold your arm off to the left and gesture with a proud salute B). act too cool to notice and keep going C). Turn around, chase him down and beat him up for his chrome accessories D). Run after him frantically waving for help, since you've been stranded on the hard shoulder for over 5 hours

3. When performing your pre-ride check, you notice a few drops of engine oil on the floor underneath your motorcycle. You should: A). Immediately clean it up with a towel or other B). Breath a sigh of relief that the engine still contains oil and optimistically press the starter switch C). Dab your fingers on the stain and then on your face, achieving that cool "greasy mechanic" look D). Pull the Harley forward so the rear tyre sits on the oil stain and attempt a burnout

4. The most important piece of gear to a Harley rider is: A). Half-helmet B). Goggles C). Leather PantsD). Wallet Chain E) Break-Down Kit

5. You see a row of Harley-Davidsons lined up at a roadside drinking establishment. You choose to: A). Stop and make some new friends B). Park for a moment, hammer down some shots of whiskey, and wobble home C). Attempt a wheelie D) Beat the crap out of some sucker for insulting HOG

6. A valve stem has broken off and effectively seized up the engine. After removing the head and thoroughly inspecting the situation, you: A). Head to an authorized H-D dealer and order genuine Harley replacement parts B). Decide to chrome plate the valve stems and springs C). Conclude that more end play in the cams could have prevented this tragedy D). Try starting the motor so that the neighbours know you're working on your bike

7. A Japanese-made sport-bike pulls up in the lane next to you at a stoplight. You: A). Nod diplomatically at your fellow motorcyclist, in spite of his patriotic failure in his duty to buy American. B). Grab a handful of throttle and race the engine, hoping to engage him in an exhaust volume contest C). Curse the fucking rice burner and throw your cigar at him. D. Keep pushing when the lights change colour

8. The guy down the block has a Sportster 1100 that is faster at the strip than your souped-up Fat Boy. You feel a need to level the playing field where the power to weight ratio is concerned. You decide to: A). Install NOS B). Remove the exhaust pipes and run straight headers, since more decibels equals more power C). Go on a diet D). Inform your 270 pound passenger she is no longer allowed to accompany you on the bike during runs at the drag-strip

9. Cruising along at full throttle, you are casually overtaken and passed by a Scooterist. You: A). Stop at a payphone and dial 999 to notify the authorities of a reckless driver B). Attempt to pass the scooter by imitating his hunched over riding style, reducing aerodynamic drag and gaining another 5 mph top end speed C). Curse the little shite and choke on your cigar in the process D. Shoot him

10. The preferred method of cleaning a Harley-Davidson is: A). S-100 motorcycle wash or equivalent B). Simonize C). Gunk engine degreaser D). Mother nature

***BONUS QUESTION*** 11. You need new tyres for your Harley. You decide to go with: A). Dunlop Qualifiers B). Mickey Thompson Super Off-Roaders C). Cheng Shins D). anything chrome-plated
 

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#1 very funny - thanks for that - meta guy the other day gave his hog up - as he'd got OCD and a bad wrist cleaning all that chrome everytime he went out!! now has a beamer - now he's made 2 mistakes -the 'dealers' hold his cheque between services lol
 
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