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Hey Michael,

There was a statistician that drowned trying to cross a river... it was three feet deep, on average.

I made a mistake and hired an odd-job guy to do eight jobs for me, but at the end of the day, he'd only done jobs 1, 3, 5, and 7.

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. Two people go into the house, and then three people come out. The physicist says, "The initial measurement was incorrect." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty."

60 out of 50 people have trouble with fractions.

Sorry. Could not resist!
 

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awesoime news!
 

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