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Common Sense

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by.

Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense has served us all so well for so many generations.



Obituary
Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense , who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, why life isn't always fair, and how, on occasion, maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
 

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An alternative Obituary


Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense , who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.


He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, why life isn't always fair, and how, on occasion, maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliablestrategies (if you don't understand it don't deal in it). As well as coining phrases such as 'once burnt, twice shy', Common Sense was a keen sponsor of the school of learning from your mistakes.


Common Sense's health began to deteriorate rapidly whenbankers turned politicians' and regulators'heads against effectiveregulation of speculative markets and practices.Common Sense lostmore ground whenaccounting standards were required toswitch to loosely crafted fair value that looked like Swiss cheese andstandard setters dumped the concept of reliability, the concept of true & fair was sacrificed to the accountants mantra of materiality and compliance with standards, and segmental reporting was chopped up.


The refusal to learn the lessons of Enron, repeated in the automotive crisis, only worsened his condition, which declined even further whencredit rating agencies' top management attackedtheir own analysts fortrying to do their job properly, while they themselves lent their ears to the dark side. Common Sense took a beatingfromirrational optimism on derivatives speculation which began to dwarf key parts of the real economy.


Common Sense lost the will to live ascapitalism became the latest arena of social security and bankers reversed themselves into government as part of a long-term strategic innovation to hedge themselves and keep the money coming in.Common Sense finally gave up, afterreports ofmanufacturing companies being refused funding andsmall companies being dismissed for lack of size, while policy makers allowed the bankers to draw on the taxpayerto fund the banking sector's staggering pay-roll requirements and guaranteedbonuses became the order of the day...again.


Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers;Someone Else is to Blame,Not My fault, and Moral Hazard.


Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
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